Forgotten, Hidden, Discarded

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This months’ blog is  a little different. I was invited to write an article about my experiences as a black woman for online Magazine: @AYOMagazine. SOOOOOO on this occasion, check out my blog here:


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@AnniwaaBuachieI am not a writer, just a blabber, a lady that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal lady with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something. 



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“Wow….your hair is tough.” Those words ran through me sharply. Those words spilled out of my cousin’s mouth as her hand unwelcomely touched my hair, neatly braided in two French braids touched with a finesse of London rain. Her hair, resembles a Rastafarian Rapunzel, long, dreds, sleek, beautiful and black. Yet it baffled her why I would not want to do anything with my hair……but just keep it natural. No Braids. No Weave. No straightening. No wigs…. just your regular 4C West African curl.

All my life I have always kept my hair the way it has always been. The way that it came fresh from my mother womb, tight, curly, frizzy, kinky and black. Yet all my life I have always had to justify my “natural state” to people.

Caucasian women put their hands through my hair exclaiming:

“ It’s wooly,”

“ It’s oily,”

“why is it harder than the mixed race woman hair in the office on floor 2?”


Mixed race people with the looser curls, look upon my hair with disgust chastising me with:

“ Your hair is Nappy,”

“I thank god my hair is not as tough as yours.”


Asian people:

“ You should get a weave, Indian girl, human hair…..we have the best hair.”


Caucasian men:

“ Your Afro is soooooo cool”

Yet some never want take you home to their mums without you “de-blacking” yourself with hair bone straight- Chinese weave or alternatively you can be that novelty negro with the afro…..there for the summer but never for winter, the home or for life.


Black women: Respect you, most salute you but some can’t understand why you would let their secret out of the bag. (Rebecca who works in PR, you know the black girl on floor 2, her hair doesn’t grow down and straight… grows up and curly sssshhhhh don’t let the secret out of the bag….)

Black men:  Some respect you, some salute you but a couple can’t stand the mirror that you are, the mirror that is placed in front of them showing their blackness in its entirety.

It’s exhausting constantly having to explain, justify and protect your natural beauty all the time, to EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON.  Whether it be to your family, friend or work colleagues.

As an actress, my job is to tell a story from the perspective of a character. I have to evolve and give a voice, life and soul to a character. However, as a black actress, before you even get the chance to sink your teeth into your character, you have to convince someone to see past your “hair issues” and actually take note of your acting.

I know it sounds ridiculous! But believe me, in many cases it’s the truth.  A friend of mine *Sapphire a successful actress in her 40’s recently had a meeting with a management team. The meeting was going really well until the Manager a young middle-upper class women *Pearl, started to educate *Sapphire about wigs and the need to ensure that she had a range of wigs for auditions. Yeah like *Sapphire hasn’t lived her life as a black woman for the past 40 years! Girl bye! I am sure more often than not *Sapphire has walked on many sets, and seen that look of worry when a basic makeup and hair stylists sees her. So for the sake of an easy life, she has a range of wigs and is seasoned in doing her own makeup to tv standards!

We have fabulous black actresses like Issa Rae switching up the hair game every scene on Insecure (with a couple of hair pieces/ wigs which match her natural hair texture.)  But even before you get to the silver screen, a black actress is still made to feel that they have to spend ££££$$$$ on wigs to disguise their natural hair. There are some creative people who lack imagination and are unable to focus on a black women’s acting if her hair is in an afro state when she auditions.  Does the same apply to a white actress who has peroxide hair or ginger hair? Are you unable to focus on that women’s acting because her hair colour or hair length is not the same as what you envisaged for the character? OF COURSE NOT, because we all know that you can just place a wig on that woman or ask her to dye her hair a certain colour…. but heaven forbid you do the same for a black woman.

It amazes me just how many people of all walks of life are concerned about a black woman’s hair, beauty and demeanor but hardly anyone is concerned about the constant oppression and silencing of black women in society.

In response to my cousins “Wow…. your hair is tough,” I quoted: “Don’t touch my hair, when it’s the feelings I wear” … Solange… cheesy I know….but I had to!

*Made up names.

@AnniwaaBuachie: I am not a writer, just a blabber, a lady that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal lady with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something. 

A Lion, A Scarecrow, A Tin man

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© 1st MAY 2017, Anniwaa Buachie


“ Okay lets go again, 2nd take, you ready Anniwaa?”

“Yeah, let’s rock and roll”


“Okay……quiet on set”




“Camera rolling”


“XXXXXX Take 2”


“& Action”








I fainted, passed out, loss consciousness. I had a simple action, stand up straight, look straight into the camera. But no, despite my body appearing to be ready, my brain…. Well my brain just decided to shut down.

This was my reality, a few weeks ago. I had a record breaking minutes upon minutes of my eyes closed.  I awoke to the smell of alcohol, feeling like I had just left the arms of ‘The Starman’ Bowie spoke so fondly about. Realisation hit, I was not Wonder Woman, not Rogue from X-men, not the super being I so desperately want & try to be. But an actor who for the first time in my life was physically and mentally helpless….. I needed a moment to catch my breath.

Until recently, I always felt that health is rarely ever discussed openly in the creative industries. I mean, sure most of us spend endless hours of the day making sure we are physically healthy, but how often do you check in with yourself and ask yourself if you are truly okay?

Mental and physical health issues have been highlighted in the media by artists such as Laura Mvula and Stormzy shedding light of their journeys. However, there is still a stigma attached to admitting that sometimes, the constant knock backs, will wind you at some point…and if you are not careful they will knock you the F@* out completely.

As an actor working your way to the ‘top of the ladder,’ every time you are offered work is a blessing, you take on projects despite your body or mind shouting out at you to TAKE A REST. You ignore your inner voice and work, because work generates work and nothing feels as good as performing. It’s your drug. There is a fear with actors that admitting exhaustion, depression or fatigue will hinder future work opportunities.

Creativity stems from the inner depths of your sub-consciousness. Neglecting who you really are, your thoughts, your true feelings blocks you in more ways than you know. Acknowledging and accepting your trials and tribulations will allow you to recreate, rearrange, rebuild your canvas for whatever life throws at you.

Acting is one of the only forms of art where you inherently have to be someone else. In order to do that to the best of your abilities, you need to ensure your foundation is solid, that you really know who you are before you can be anything else.

It is important as an artist to check in with yourself. Ask yourself:

Is the end game, what you really want, emotionally, mentally, financially, physically and spiritually?

Is what you are working so hard to achieve worth it? Will it contribute or jeopardise your happiness?

When if any will there be a time for you to stop?

Do you feel that your sanity is deteriorating under the constant gaze of casting directors, directors, producers and audiences?


I think it’s admirable when people are honest with themselves, so many of us are just keeping up with the joneses!

We all have physical and metal hiccups, seeking help, sharing experiences and finding ways to be a part of a community is the first step to transform, sadness, anxiety, fear depression into happiness, excitement & confidence.

Whenever I feel like shutting down, I watch the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy was lost in an unfamiliar land with an unfamiliar path. Yet she manages to ask for help, build friendships, defines what it means to have wisdom, love and courage. And after her long adventure, who and what she thinks is the “Great and Powerful Oz” is not what she imagined at all! Dorothy’s journey makes her realise that she always had the power to change her situation. When she wakes up, she is surrounded by people who love and support her, she had a support network in her sub consciousness and conscious state.

Waking up from my moment with ‘The Starman’ made me understand the importance of having a Glinda, a Lion, a Scarecrow, a Tin man and an Aunty Em in times of fragility.

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie


Friend? Enemy? Frenemy?

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loren-mansfield2Not everyone is going to be your friend. The minute you accept this statement, the more you will enjoy your life to its fullest.  I believe this is a statement a lot of people either, ignore or try to change, particularly in the creative industries.  

Developing a career in the creative industry is a rocky road as of course, it is mainly based on perception and opinion…everything is subjective.  For this reason, many creatives believe that the key to success is ensuring that everyone is your friend, your number one fan. Truth be told this helps but the reality is life doesn’t always work out like a girl scout club.

In the entertainment industry creatives find it easier to be supportive of friends who work in tech, hairdressing or any other field… long as they are not  an actor! I mean the competition is high and the roles are sparse!  Desperation and envy makes people do a lot of strange things. Many a times I have been exposed to interesting behaviors. ‘Friends’ who in some twisted way, deep down believed that they were ‘above,’ or on a ‘next level’ to me.

Which resulted in them constantly undermining me or telling me what I was capable of achieving!

What warrants someone to think their ‘above’ or on a ‘next level’ to somebody else?

It varies, but as I delve deeper into the labyrinth of womanhood. My career, society and culture reveal to me just some of the things which makes one believe that they are a cut above the rest.

In some cultures, success is measured by the number of children you have pushed out your mini-moo before the age of 30. For some people, success is measured by the number of holidays one takes, or the number of properties you own, or by the numbers of cars you have and whether you are married or not before the age of 30.  

In the entertainment industry, I suppose success is measured by the acknowledgment that you are going after your dreams and despite whether you are earning £££££££££££$$$$$$$$$ what is important is that you are valued as great artists by your peers. Winning the popularity contest!

However, as a woman, you are constantly reminded that you cannot have it all.

The perfect career, the beautiful family and the friendship group. One of those three things, supposedly, will suffer on the way to success and the media never fails to remind us of this!

It can be hard to see your friend, the same friend you know from back in the day, the same friend who you shared a Happy Meal with at McDonalds because you were both broke, reach a level of success that you feel may be more deserving to you.

As women, we are constantly encouraged to be a part of a sisterhood. We are one vessel breaking down the misogyny of this world. However, with age comes wisdom and impatience.  It is easy to look at your friend’s life and become envious, or project your regrets on to them. It is easy to have many excuses as to why your ‘friend’ is or is not successful.  Whether you like it or not, as humans there is a little part of us, which sometimes wishes we can be in a different position in our life.  However there is only one person in control of that…..YOU.   Learn, live and love your journey and your friends. Because when it comes down to it, success doesn’t mean anything if you are not able to share it with a friend,  the same friend you shared a McDonalds Happy Meal with all those years ago. JUST REMEMBER: Whatever is meant for you will not pass you by!

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie

The End Is The Beginning

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This is nothing. Nothing is important. Importance is creativity. Creativity derives from experiences. Experiences like this make you realize how lucky you are to have more happening in your life than some. Some people are bitter and twisted because, they fail to really succeed at what they truly wanted to do. Do they even have a heart anymore? Anymore joy to give. Giving is the formula which keeps you alive, present and warm. Warmness derives from being open. Openness comes from when you are at ease within yourself. You are the only one who knows your greatness, do not allow vile human begins to take. Takers are fakers, hollow, just a mere shell, meant for being buried. Buried far away from anything, that breathes, lives and has a soul. Soulless people roam this world, with their vicious tongues, fake smiles and their crooked ways. Ways to hypnotize you with power, love, money, bullying and entrapment.

Trap yourself with your own love and you will avoid the black hole of negativity. Negative energy, can be poured into an ocean, and what stares you in the face is a narcissist. Narcissist the man, who had no care for anything, but himself, nothing was good enough for him. For him you would do everything but for you, you did nothing. Nothing is important. Importance is creativity. Creativity derives from experiences…….

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie

We Laugh, Cry and Bleed

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The world is on edge in so many ways at the moment. Which unless you have been in hibernation or someone who is living on cloud 9, it is hard not to escape the tension. It is not surprising that the Rio Olympics seems a little down played in comparison to the London Olympics. I mean this is the time when we should all be coming together and enjoying the world’s best athletes compete against one another right?

No instead we are on edge, people are resorting to medieval perceptions of the each other despite the fact that yes we know the world is not flat, yes we know the earth spins around the sun and yes although we come in different shades of melanin, we are all of the same species.

Xenophobia everywhere.

Growing up in London I cherish the fact that there are a variety of people from different nations, different religions, different perceptions. (You can imagine how I felt about the UK leaving the EU.) My own parents were immigrants, they left Ghana and came to the UK, to start a new life, as did so many. And like my parents so many immigrants had to forgo their former qualifications, to do low paid jobs because their former credentials were not acknowledged in the UK. Luckily my parents spoke English, for some people language is just many of the barriers that they face as an immigrant.

Yet a western person can go to any non-western country and be hailed a professor, simply because they studied in the UK, Europe or America.  It’s okay for a Westerner to go to a country and dictate how people live their lives or refuse to even speak any other language besides English. If I had a penny for the amount of times I have been to a foreign country only to hear some douchebag say ‘speak English’ in a country where English is not the national language! (Colonial residue)

There is so many factors that an immigrant encounters that a citizen, if placed in the same situation would slit their wrist! In reference to the recent influx of Syrian immigrants, can you imagine leaving your family, everything you know to go to a place, where you know no one. Where you are not accustom to the culture or language. Where people assume you are a terrorist, because you are Muslim. Where you are seen as a rapist!

Rarely ever do the majority of people place themselves in the shoes of immigrants before we place a judgement.

This is where I come in…..well not me exactly, but artists, creative people. I used to think to myself,  ‘I’m a drama queen…. what am I doing, I’m not a doctor, I’m not saving lives.’ But that is not quiet true.  I know this sounds corny, but Art does save lives.  It’s down to artists to create work that opens narrow minds offering an intelligent insight into the social and political consciousness of the invisible and the marginalised. Which as a result, hopefully articulates fresh and unfamiliar perspectives, awaking society.

Films like Brick Lane, Dirty Pretty Things, Persepolis have enlightened me and I only hope I can create or perform in productions of a similar calibre.

We all have different motives as people, before making any assumptions about immigrants, we should remember that they are people and we all laugh, cry and bleed.

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie

P.s  I will be appearing in the guest star role of Survivor’s remorse. Episode 6 ‘No Child Left Behind.’ More details here

In a Marvel Universe

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Comic books, since their existence have always been the staple way of entertaining a diverse audience. Often stereotypically associated with geeky white boys, the surge of comic books turned TV/ films has encouraged a new audience to discover the magic of this pop-phenomenon. It’s an exciting time in the entertainment industry, as this genre is an avenue with endless possibility!


I have always had a love an admiration for comic books. Sneaking into my older brother’s room at the age of 8, I was obsessed at marveling at their Marvel collections (excuse the pun…lol) The fresh smell of those glossy covers entrenched in vivid, bright illustrations, it was exciting to cast my eyes on pages which stole my imagination and awkwardness from me and placed them into other worldly characters. The stories were always compelling and entertaining but also taught me to embrace my differences, my quirks and celebrate them.


Every child goes through a stage where they feel like they don’t belong, some more than others due to societal prejudices of race, class and financial means. There are people who don’t relate to a western ideal of ‘normal.’


Reading about the X-men, and learning about the constant inner turmoil’s the character’s experienced made me feel like I was a part of something.  It was interesting to try to understand why some ‘mutants’ chose to destroy the human race and why some chose to preserve it.  I mean, saving a species of people who don’t understand you nor care about you, yet fear you………..for a lot of readers hits home and for me it was not an escapism but a reflection of my reality.


These modern day fables hold a magnify glass to the flaws which make us humans. This is why I love the surge of comic book films and TV shows. It provides us with the reality check and an appreciation of our lives. Most importantly, the beauty of comic book dramas is that they give space and room for casting to be diverse and to go beyond stereotypes, woman can be seen as the protagonists rather than servants to to male story and ethnic actors are not the token sidekick!


On that note I cannot wait to see the Black Panther movie. This is the first time that there is a black male lead in a story which centres from his perspective. Not a slave story with a white messiah, not athlete story of overcoming racism but a story of a brilliant tactician, strategist, scientist, of royal African descendent. The name Black Panther holds so many meanings within history but to me as that awkward black girl, the odd tomboy all those years ago who hid my love for comic books it means a skilled warrior, the King of the most important country on the planet in a marvel universe. A man who despite his challenges and setbacks realised that his love for his heritage and his people is what gives him the power to live another day.


I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie


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Darkness, heart beating,
Mirrors reflecting,
Rage burning.
Broken glass,
Green eye monster
Medusa kisses your lips.
And then
It hurts.
A candle lit inside, smoke suffocates,
Black tar and …….out.
A unicorn,
Moving forward.
Heartbeat hops….skips….and jumps,
His hands- balloons.
Over hill, over dale, BANG!
Darkness, heart beating, mirrors reflecting,
Pride glowing!
(An abstract insight of overcoming obstacles, to start again )
I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie


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Photographer: Abe Atri, Model: Anniwaa Buachie


I rarely ever discuss my work or personal life in public. My mother raised me with the concept of keeping things to yourself as a good thing. Maybe it’s an African superstition. She has always said to me to keep things to myself, as there are some wicked people out there. People who can’t stand the thought or sight of others successes. People out there who underestimate you because of the way you look, your sex, your intelligence, your culture or your economic background.

So when I recently auditioned for a couple of great productions, I didn’t tell anyone, like I normally do. I just went to the audition and hoped for the best. It was my little secret. I felt like my three year-old friend, Isla (my best friend’s daughter) I was excitable, bouncy and bursting to the seams with creativity!

The auditions went well, really well, so well that obviously I got a call back. I couldn’t contain myself so I told two people about the call back. Well not everything, just the fact that I got a call back…. (you know I still respect my mum’s words of advice.) My friends and I went into an elaborate discussion of why the “CALL BACK”, the unknown can be the most exhilarating moment of the process.

Now getting a call back is always a great thing…it gives you the re-assurance that you are on the right path, and that who and what you are is definitely appealing to others. However getting a call back , also provides actors with a lot of mixed feelings of happiness and dread. There is a 50% chance that your dreams may come true, that you no longer need to be eating ramen and counting your pennies!

I think a lot of artists get used to struggling. They get used to rejection, juggling 3-5 jobs at any given time and constantly being asked by their robot friends (nine to fivers) what they are working on next, which as an artist you will never really know! Also the average robot, assumes the answer to all performers problems is to go on X – Factor or Britain’s got talent! Yawn!

So when the callback…a possible life changing moment stares at you in the face, in the form of three male executive producers, it’s almost like a near death experience. Your life begins to flash in front of you.

You remember the times when:

Teachers in Drama school patronised you and assumed a particular stereotype on the basis of your appearance.

You worked 14 hours a day in a job where your employer treated you like a second class citizen.

“Friends” would ask you when you would be getting a real job or looked down on you because you are not a ‘cookie cutter’ a ‘Stepford wife.’

All those times when despite the odds you continued to keep standing, pushing and striving for greatness.

It is that tenacity and passion which all actors should remember and utilise at all callbacks. Do not be afraid of success, you have earnt it, you deserve it, but most importantly every hurdle, was worth the jump! Nothing is a waste of time, everything is relevant to your journey.

So I would like to say a big thank you to all the people who continue to support me and all those people who continue to under- estimate me. Either way you have contributed to my ever growing self belief, which has never and shall never falter.

So yeah….I had the call backs…and gave solid layered performances but now my fate is in someone else’s hands. Whether I get the parts or not, I know I gave fantastic performances.

I am humbled and grateful by the experience. I will continue to keep pushing, keep hustling and keeping it creative. I hope for those you reading this, you will do the same. Life is too special to spend it regretting or feeling sorry for yourself. KEEP IT MOVING!

Until the next installment of my passionate explosions of thoughts, SEE IT, BE IT, LET IT BE.


I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie

Sky Before The Storm

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It’s so hard to be present. So hard to focus on what’s happening, not in the past or future but now!

Society encourages us to think about the future, with vices such as pensions, mortgages, marriage, and life insurance. There is an emphasis on the future and nostalgia with the past…..but rarely ever in society are we encouraged to be present. I suppose it’s a scary thing, it’s like jumping out of a plane with no parachute. You need to think fast and act fast. Being present, being in the moment makes the stakes higher. It is something I always try to do, being more present; dealing with current wants and needs….now, rather than spending so much time, worrying about the future.

Although as an impatient individual (I’m working on my patience skills) I want everything to happen NOW…on my time! It can be so disheartening to work so hard, dedicate yourself to a purpose, put the blood, sweat and tears…give everything, your all, only to look at your future goals and still feel like you are nowhere close to achieving them.

However in reality you are getting closer. Every second, minute, hour, day, week etc you are changing in mind, body and soul. However because these changes may not be colossal, we fail to see our achievements, because of our impatience and not being present.

For example, how many of you out there have met the “perfect person” for you after one date?! You meet someone go out with them ONCE and immediately you start planning the names of your future children…………ludicrous! Instead of enjoying the moment, the spontaneity you are already planning out an uncertain future. This impatient energy, the need for things to happen now…now…now…can be detrimental to any relationship, be it your relationship with you partner, friends, family and career.

One way to avoid disappointment, disillusion and discontent is to BE PRESENT.

 This is easier said than done, especially when modern day life is convoluted with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vine etc. However now and then, we just need to keep things simple, experience life away from our black mirrors. 

We just need to reinvigorate our senses, breathe deeply, listen intently, watch with curiosity and taste gloriously. When you are in the moment, when you are present nothing else should matter. You might catch glimpse of your future, you might not, but like the sky before a storm, there is always a great beauty the moment before a clear sky gets engulfed by heavy clouds.

This blog was inspired by recent conversations with wonderful writer/actor Bianca Sams and  fantastic actor Stefan Adegbola. I give them special thanks for always being there as voices of reason and helping me to tame my impatient shadow.

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie