Friend? Enemy? Frenemy?

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loren-mansfield2Not everyone is going to be your friend. The minute you accept this statement, the more you will enjoy your life to its fullest.  I believe this is a statement a lot of people either, ignore or try to change, particularly in the creative industries.  

Developing a career in the creative industry is a rocky road as of course, it is mainly based on perception and opinion…everything is subjective.  For this reason, many creatives believe that the key to success is ensuring that everyone is your friend, your number one fan. Truth be told this helps but the reality is life doesn’t always work out like a girl scout club.

In the entertainment industry creatives find it easier to be supportive of friends who work in tech, hairdressing or any other field… long as they are not  an actor! I mean the competition is high and the roles are sparse!  Desperation and envy makes people do a lot of strange things. Many a times I have been exposed to interesting behaviors. ‘Friends’ who in some twisted way, deep down believed that they were ‘above,’ or on a ‘next level’ to me.

Which resulted in them constantly undermining me or telling me what I was capable of achieving!

What warrants someone to think their ‘above’ or on a ‘next level’ to somebody else?

It varies, but as I delve deeper into the labyrinth of womanhood. My career, society and culture reveal to me just some of the things which makes one believe that they are a cut above the rest.

In some cultures, success is measured by the number of children you have pushed out your mini-moo before the age of 30. For some people, success is measured by the number of holidays one takes, or the number of properties you own, or by the numbers of cars you have and whether you are married or not before the age of 30.  

In the entertainment industry, I suppose success is measured by the acknowledgment that you are going after your dreams and despite whether you are earning £££££££££££$$$$$$$$$ what is important is that you are valued as great artists by your peers. Winning the popularity contest!

However, as a woman, you are constantly reminded that you cannot have it all.

The perfect career, the beautiful family and the friendship group. One of those three things, supposedly, will suffer on the way to success and the media never fails to remind us of this!

It can be hard to see your friend, the same friend you know from back in the day, the same friend who you shared a Happy Meal with at McDonalds because you were both broke, reach a level of success that you feel may be more deserving to you.

As women, we are constantly encouraged to be a part of a sisterhood. We are one vessel breaking down the misogyny of this world. However, with age comes wisdom and impatience.  It is easy to look at your friend’s life and become envious, or project your regrets on to them. It is easy to have many excuses as to why your ‘friend’ is or is not successful.  Whether you like it or not, as humans there is a little part of us, which sometimes wishes we can be in a different position in our life.  However there is only one person in control of that…..YOU.   Learn, live and love your journey and your friends. Because when it comes down to it, success doesn’t mean anything if you are not able to share it with a friend,  the same friend you shared a McDonalds Happy Meal with all those years ago. JUST REMEMBER: Whatever is meant for you will not pass you by!

I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.   @AnniwaaBuachie

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