Amy, Amy, Amy……….

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“I don’t need help because if I can’t help myself I can’t be helped.” – Amy Winehouse (1983 -2011)

It saddens me that another talented performer has left this world. 

Amy Winehouse was a remarkable talented singer, who unfortunately was constantly fighting a losing battle with herself. I never knew Amy Winehouse, but I did randomly meet her once in 2007 whilst shopping at Selfridges.


The news of her death, did make me pause……..I actually sat down and took a moment to think about her development as an artist, as a young women who was determined to be heard. I am not an obsessive Amy Winehouse fan, but I certainly appreciate her music. Why am I a little disturbed by Amy’s death – well, she was a London born girl from a normal family whose immense talent made her noticable to the world. Her journey and struggle for recognition of her work, is a journey most creatives can realate to. 


The ignorance and disrespect that some people have expressed towards Amy’s death, doesn’t surprise me. Yes she was an alcoholic, a druggie….but because she was these things, is it right that she has died? No, it’s not. It is so easy for us as indiviuals to reject something because we don’t understand it. How many of you have been in the same position?


It is so easy to be affected by loniness when you are a creative person, the pursuit of the perfect balance of creativity, stabiltity and development is a holy grail for most performers and extremely difficult to obtain. We all enter this profession hoping that our sole income will be from our talent, but in order to achieve this bliss, a lot of us have to work many crappy jobs, continuously have un-imaginative people constantly analysising our lifestyle and suggest that we need to wake up, or ask how long before you realize, that living your dreams is not an ideal and that your dreams will only take you so far, that you need to start living in the real world and working a 9-5 job! The loniness which comes with a performers pursuit, is one from the focus and determination to succeed within your field, it becomes your obsession your baby that you need to feed and nurture until it is a fully formed adult. But there is always a little devil on your shoulder that is saying your not good enough, or that you don’t deserve any acknowledgement for your work. This is an issue which haunts a performer on a daily basis, and even those who have success embracing them with open arms.


In Amy Winehouse, case – I honestly believe that the drugs and alcohol are not to blame for her fate, they were used as a device for her to escape, to avoid looking at herself and to avoid listening to the little devil which sat on her shoulder. It was the pressure of living in the eyes of the public, being told that you have to be responsible for your actions, because your a role model. The pressure of having to live up to your fans expectations, to record bosses expectations, not having any immediate control over thing you love so dearly – your craft, your art your passion. 


Yes Amy’s death has affected me, it has made me question  the price of acknowledgement and whether it is best to be a performer, who is always looking from the outside in, rather than one who is looking from the inside out. 


Fame is a vicious disease which can sufficate an artist whilst kissing it’s ego!


I will remember Amy Winehouse as an artists who was an honest, charismatic singer, who wore her heart on her sleeves and lost a losing battle against a parasite called Fame, may she finally rest in peace.


I am not a writer, just a blabber, a girl that asks many questions but never knows how to collate the answers. Just a normal girl with nothing more to say, than words that mean nothing but say something.

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